Success Common Sense

Yesterday I did the keynote address at the Childcare Network annual Director’s conference.  I’m not an expert in pre-schools, so I visited a Childcare Network school on Wednesday to get a better understanding of what their School Directors do every day.  I was glad I did!  The Childcare Network schools are amazing places that prepare kids for kindergarten.  I enjoyed my visit so much that I didn’t want to leave.

My blog post yesterday was on the importance of thinking before you speak – especially when you are in a conflict situation.  Among many other things the Childcare Network teaches young children how to manage conflict.  They use a hand as their model.  Posters depicting the hand were prominently displayed in every classroom.

Here is the Childcare Network’s approach to helping children learn how to manage conflict…

1. Thumb.  Cool down. The teacher gets each child to sit down, breathe deep and get calm enough to discuss the problem.
2. Index Finger – Discuss and agree on the problem. The teacher asks for both version of what happened and explains what doesn’t work – like hitting or fighting.  The teacher then guides the kids to figure out what they can do differently.
3. Middle Finger – Brainstorm solutions everybody can live with. The teacher asks the kids to come up with idea on fixing the problem they are having.
4. Ring Finger – Select the solution that seems reasonable to all. The teacher tries to use the kids’ ideas, but offers suggestions if the kids can’t or won’t come up with any ideas.
5. Pinkie – Try it out. The teacher asks the kids to put the ideas into practice, and watch as they do.  The teacher gives positive reinforcement to kids who are able to put the solution to work and gives guidance on how to do so when they are struggling to do so.

Childcare Network teachers report that when they use this conflict management style, the kids get back together after the conflict “as if nothing ever happened.”

In the material they provide parents they say…

“Punishing a child for having a conflict and then telling them to apologize is not the right way to create lasting learning experiences.  Nor is it a good way to create lasting learning experiences that will help children deal with conflict as they get older.”

I teach the same method of conflict resolution to my career success coaching clients…

• Calm down.
• Agree on the problem.
• Brainstorm solutions.
• Pick one.
• Put it into play.

Conflict resolution is a life skill that is important for career success.  Tweet 133 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Resolve conflict positively.  Treat conflict as an opportunity to strengthen, not destroy, the relationships you’ve worked hard to build.”

Successful people resolve conflict in a positive manner.  No matter how interpersonally competent, or how easy-going you are, you will inevitably find yourself in conflict.  People will not always agree with you, and you will not always agree with others.

I know a little bit about conflict resolution.  It was the topic of my dissertation at Harvard.  Way back in the 1970’s, Ken Thomas and Ralph Kilmann developed an instrument to measure a person’s tendencies when in a conflict situation.

They came up with five predominant conflict styles:

• Competing
• Collaborating
• Compromising
• Accommodating
• Avoiding.

Their research suggests that all five are appropriate depending on the situation.

As a career success coach however, I have found that the Collaborating style is the best default mode.  When you collaborate with others to resolve conflict, you focus on meeting both your needs and the needs of the other person.  I like this style because it helps you bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution.

The Childcare Network conflict resolution model is based on collaboration.  It gets the kids to focus on the problem behind the conflict and to jointly come up with a solution that works well for both of them.

When you collaborate, neither person is likely to feel as if he or she won or lost.  Also, collaborating with the person or persons with whom you are in conflict creates the opportunity for you to work together to build a solution that best addresses everyone’s concerns.

Successful people are adept at resolving conflict in a positive manner.  Collaboration is the best choice of the five most common handling styles.  When you collaborate with others – especially those with whom you are in conflict – you not only are likely to resolve your conflict in a positive manner, you will strengthen your relationship with the other person.  It’s a win-win.

When I work collaboratively with someone, I focus on our similarities, not our differences.  This creates a bond that not only helps us get through our conflict, but helps us strengthen our relationship, and strong relationships lead to career success.

One of my favorite methods for dealing with conflict in a collaborative manner is counter-intuitive.  By definition, conflict is a state of disagreement.  When I’m in conflict with someone, however, instead of focusing on where we disagree, I focus on where we agree.

This is a great way to not only resolve conflict positively, it helps strengthen relationships.  And, as we all know, conflict often leads to a deterioration of relationships.  To me this approach is a no-brainer.  First, you get to resolve conflict positively.  Second, you strengthen your relationships.  Third, you improve your chances of becoming a life and career success.

I look for any small point of agreement and then try to build on it.  I find that it is easier to reach a larger agreement when I build from a point of small agreement, rather than attempting to tear down the other person’s points with which I don’t agree.

Most people don’t do this.  They get caught up in proving their point.  They hold on to it more strongly when someone else attacks it.  If you turn around the discussion and say, “Let’s focus where we agree, and see if we can build something from there,” you are making the situation less personal.  Now the two of you are working together to figure out a mutually agreeable solution to your disagreement.  You’re not tearing down one another’s arguments just to get your way.  Try this.  It works.

You want to be assertive, not aggressive in resolving conflict.  Here’s a true story.  It happened several years ago on Frontier flight 862, Denver to Phoenix.  I got on late because I was on standby for an earlier flight.  I have a middle seat, 14B.  When I arrive at row 14, there are women sitting in seats A and C.  I say hello, stow my bags, and get into my seat.

The woman in 14A smiles at me, looks at the book I have in my hand, and says, “That looks like an interesting book.”  I’m reading Laura Lowell’s book, 42 rules of Marketing.  We chat a minute about the book and then lapse into some general conversation.

Her name is Cheryl Munsey, and as it turns out, Cheryl and I know a few people in common.  And she’s very personable.  We chat the whole time the plane is taxiing and through take-off.

As soon as the plane is in the air, the woman in 14C rings the flight attendant call button.  The flight attendant comes on the loudspeaker and says, “We are still in our ascent.  Will the person who rang his or her call button turn it off until we reach our cruising altitude?  Leave it on only if it’s a real emergency.”

14C leaves the light on.  I’m worried that she might be ill.  The flight attendant struggles down the aisle.  When she arrives at our row, 14C says, “I need a pair of headphones.  These people are talking too much and driving me crazy.”  As she is saying this, she is removing ear plugs.

I feel bad.  I tend to speak softly in crowded, enclosed places like airplanes and was surprised that our conversation was annoying her – especially when she was wearing ear plugs.  I say to 14C, “I apologize if we were annoying you.  I didn’t realize we were speaking so loudly.”  She says, “I was trying to sleep,” and puts on the headphones that she got from the flight attendant.

Not a minute later, she rings the call button again.  When the flight attendant comes back, she says, “I need another pair.  These earphones aren’t drowning out these people.”  I thought this was kind of peculiar, as Cheryl and I were stunned by what happened and really hadn’t said anything since her original comment that we were speaking too loudly.

All of this should just go into one of those irritating, bizarre moments in life files and be forgotten.  However, it makes a point about personal responsibility, interpersonal competence and life and career success.

The woman in 14C never told Cheryl and me that we were disturbing her sleep.  Instead, she chose to complain to the flight attendant about our conversation.  It came across to both Cheryl and me as a pretty hostile gesture.  We both wondered why she just didn’t ask us to speak more softly.  That’s what an interpersonally competent person would have done.  That’s what someone who was taking responsibility for herself and her needs would have done.

It’s called being assertive.  Assertive people stand up for their rights, but do it in such a way as not to offend other people.  Passive people let others trample on them and don’t stand up for their rights.  Aggressive people get what they want, but at the expense of others.  In this case, 14C was being aggressive.  As I think back on that rather bizarre episode, I wish that Ms. 14 C had the benefit of attending a Childcare Network school when she was a child.

There are two career success coach points here.  Both are simple common sense.  First, take responsibility for yourself.  Tell people how you feel.  Don’t let others do things that make your life unpleasant.  Second, stand up for yourself and resolve conflict in an assertive, non-aggressive, collaborative manner.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 133 in Success Tweets.  “Resolve conflict positively.  Treat conflict as an opportunity to strengthen, not destroy, the relationships you’ve worked hard to build.”  Conflict can destroy relationships – and it can strengthen them.  When you find yourself in conflict with another person, choose to see it as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them.  Collaborate with them to solve your joint problem.  In this way, you’ll resolve conflict positively and strengthen the relationships that are key to your life and career success.

That’s my career advice on conflict resolution – and that of the Childcare Network as well.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb

Carol Hansen is one of my Facebook friends.  She posted a great little acronym the other day “T H I N K Before You Speak.”

T Is it True?
H Is it Helpful?
I Is it Inspiring?
N Is it Necessary?
K Is it Kind?

This is great career advice and it will help you build and maintain the solid, long lasting relationships you need to create your life and career success.  When it comes to building strong, lasting relationships I give my career success coach clients three bits of common sense advice…

1. Get to know yourself.  Use this self-knowledge to better understand others and adapt your communication style to them.
2. Pay it forward.  Do for others without waiting for them to do for you.
3. Resolve conflict in a manner that will strengthen – not weaken – your relationships.

The third point is where Carol’s acronym comes in handy.  In conflict situations we often say things that we wish we could take back later.  Unfortunately, once something is said, it’s said.  Carol’s advice – think before you speak – can help you from saying something that can harm your relationships.

When you speak the objective truth about the situation – something on which you and the other person can agree – you’re unlikely to run into a problem.

When you are helpful – suggesting ways to resolve the conflict in a mutually agreeable manner – you will be strengthening your relationship.

When you are inspiring – looking for something that can uplift you both – you can use the disagreement to help you both move forward to your goals.

When you say only what is necessary – not all the extraneous stuff you might be feeling, or want to say to get in a dig – you are bringing the issue into a clear focus instead of muddying the waters.

When you are kind – not hurtful – in your words, you are showing a genuine concern for the other person.  You are treating him or her with the dignity and respect he or she deserves as a fellow human being.  No matter how contentious the situation, this is always a great way to strengthen your relationship with him or her.

A couple of years ago, I had an opportunity to preview a great DVD on relationship building called, Little Things Mean a Lot.  The DVD is based on the work of Brigid Moynahan, founder of The Next level Inc.  She is a well-known and highly recognized speaker and trainer.

Ms. Moynahan says that when it comes to relationships, it’s important to sweat the small stuff.  She says that we send micro-messages in all of our interactions with other people.  Micro-messages are the signals we send to one another through our behavior.  While micro-messages are often small, their impact can be enormous.

Micro-messages can help or hinder your relationship-building efforts.  Micro-affirmations help you build and maintain strong relationships.  Micro-inequities hinder your ability to build and maintain strong relationships.  When you T H I N K before you speak – especially in conflict situations– you are my likely to send micro-affirmations and avoid micro-inequities.

To be clear, micro-affirmations are messages that we send to other people that cause them to feel valued, included, or encouraged.  Micro-inequities are messages that we send to other people that cause them to feel devalued, slighted, discouraged or excluded.

Ms. Moynahan puts a diversity spin on her work.  While I agree that moving from an organizational culture based on micro-inequities to one based on micro-affirmations will build a more inclusive – and thereby productive and profitable – organization, I also believe there are life and career success lessons to be learned here.

Ask yourself, “When do I feel excluded, disrespected and devalued?”  In most of these cases, you have been the recipient of a micro-inequity.  The way you feel when you experience a micro-inequity is the way others are likely to feel when you engage in micro-inequity behavior.  That means you should refrain from using these behaviors in your interactions with others.

Then do just the opposite.  Ask yourself, “When do I feel included, respected and valued?”  In most of these cases, you will have been the recipient of a micro-affirmation.  Work hard to incorporate behaviors that are micro-affirmations into your daily interactions with others.

In short, when you focus on sending micro-affirmations and avoiding micro-inequities — when you T H I N K before you speak — you will be better able to resolve conflict positively and build solid, lasting relationships with the people in your life.  And strong relationships are an important key to your personal and professional success.

The common sense career success point here is simple.  Successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 123 in Success Tweets.  “Use every social interaction to build and strengthen relationships.  Strong relationships are your ticket to success.”  Build and strengthen relationships by sweating the small stuff.  T H I N K before you speak.  Focus sending positive micro messages – the small things that show another person that you value him or her.  Avoid “micro-inequities” – behaviors that demean people in small ways.  Instead, focus on “micro-affirmations” – behaviors that encourage others and build their self-esteem.

That’s my career advice based on Carol Hansen’s acronym “T H I N K before you speak.”  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I really appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Every month I do an interview with a senior executive for members of My Corporate Climb.  If you’re not a member and would like to be, please go to http://MyCorporateClimb.com and sign up.

My interview for February is with Van Horsley, Chief Operating Officer for the Colorado Division of First Citizen’s Bank.  In the interview, which will be posted on My Corporate Climb the second Tuesday of February, Van shared his seven points for career success…

1. Always act with integrity.
2. Show up early.
3. Work harder than your peers.
4. Learn your company’s business.
5. Get engaged in your company’s business.
6. Understand how what you do contributes to your company’s business success.
7. Make yourself indispensable to your boss.

That’s some great common sense advice for creating your career success.

I really like number 7 – make yourself indispensable to your boss – for two reasons.  First, your boss has a lot to say about things that impact your life and career success.  He or she does your performance reviews, has input to your raises and is often in a position to promote you.  Second, when you are indispensable to your boss, he or she is likely to recommend you to take his or her job when he or she gets promoted.

There are many ways you can make yourself indispensable to your boss.  Technology is a good place to start.  For example, you can become a PowerPoint expert.  You can turn the idea your boss generates into high quality presentations that will help him or her shine.

Or, if you have an analytical mind, you can help your boss tackle complex problems that affect your company’s business, and come up with well thought out plans to address them.

I know of one woman who became a wardrobe advisor to her boss.  As it turns out, her was single and color blind – not a good combination for looking sharp at work every day.  She helped him purchase clothes that looked good when worn together.  This helped him get a promotion – and your guessed it, he promoted her.

I’d like to hear your thoughts and suggestions for making yourself indispensable to your boss.  What do you do?  What have you seen others do?  Please pass along your ideas in a comment on this post.  I’ll send everybody who comments the eBook version of the latest book in the Success Tweets series, Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact.  Please take a minute now to leave your comment.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Van Horsley of First Citizens Bank says that there are seven things he’s done over the course of his career to create his success.  1) Always act with integrity.  2) Show up early.  3) Work harder than your peers.  4) Learn your company’s business.  5) Get engaged in your company’s business.  6) Understand how what you do contributes to your company’s business success.  7) Make yourself indispensable to your boss.  If you apply these common sense ideas in your career you’ll be on your way to the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s my career advice based on Van Horsley’s seven keys to success.  What do you think?  Get a free copy of Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact by leaving a comment sharing your best ideas for making yourself indispensable to your boss.  As always thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

I was doing an interview with Cathy Gettings the other day.  It was part of her upcoming Magnetic Mindshift telesummit.  I’ll let you know when she has it ready to go.  If my interview with Cathy is any indication, it should be dynamite and a great career success event.

As we were discussing the importance of dressing for success Cathy said, “Your appearance should show that you have some respect for yourself.”

I had to chuckle, because I always tell my success coach clients, “Look in the mirror on your way out the door in the morning.  Ask yourself, ‘does my appearance demonstrate that I respect myself and the people I’ll meet today’.”

It’s true.  Your appearance says a lot about you – how much you respect yourself, and how much you respect others.  My best advice on to how your attire can help you create positive personal impact is simple and common sense.  Dress one level up.  In other words, dress a little nicer than you have to.  For example, if your office is casual, wear a dress or a suit every once in a while.

Make sure your clothes and shoes are clean and in good repair.  Keep your hair clean and well styled.  Make sure your shoes are shined.  Look in the mirror on your way out the door.  Ask yourself, “Will I impress other people with the way I look today?”  If the answer is “no”, take a few minutes and change before you go to work.

I always get dressed up when I am meeting clients.  Many of my clients dress casually.  When they tell me, “You didn’t need to wear a suit today,” I say, “Yes I did.  I’m meeting with an important person — you.”  Show respect for yourself and the people around you by dressing well and looking good.

Accessories are another part of your appearance.  In general, you want your accessories to compliment, not over power your clothing.  Keep them understated and elegant.  Large rings and earring, bracelets that jangle every time you move can distract from your look and your professionalism.  Save the bling for evenings out, tone it down at work

Pay attention to your electronic accessories.  About a year ago, I saw a Wall Street Journal article about electronic accessories.  It made some interesting points about cell phones, PDAs and other electronic helpers – all small enough to tote around with us all the time – and how they can hurt your image as a professional.  Look around, you’ll see that most senior executives aren’t overburdened by electronic accessories.

In Wildly Sophisticated, my friend Nicole Williams lays out ten fashion commandments.  I think they are invaluable advice for creating a professional look

1. Sweat the small stuff. People don’t necessarily notice if you’re groomed, but they definitely notice when you’re not.
2. Restrain yourself. Never let your accessories wear you.
3. Know your body. Recognize that every style trend is not designed for you. This isn’t a limitation – its just reality.
4. Black is your friend. Black staples – pants, skirts and jackets are clean, classic and they always look good. They’re flattering, will work with everything else in your closet and will stretch your clothing budget.
5. Focus on your feet. A great pair of shoes can make all the difference in your look.  Make sure your footwear is polished and clean. This is another one of those details that people really do notice.
6. Welcome the three-way mirror.  Clothes that fit well make you look better and help your confidence.
7. Work it. Style is really a synonym for self-expression. You’ll feel and look better when your clothes reflect your personality.
8. Buy quality. In the long run, quality clothes will actually save you money.
9. Invest in accessories.  Your bag or briefcase is a constant companion. Clients, employers and colleagues will all notice what’s draped on your arm. Invest in a quality piece that reflects your style. And in this age of laptops, cell phones and PDAs, a bag that will carry your hardware is a lifesaver.
10. Relax. Bottom line? Its just fashion. Give it your best shot; know that style matters and that looking groomed and professional are important for your career.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Your appearance says a lot about you.  Dress in a manner that shows you respect yourself – and the people you will meet during your day.  Take the time to show that you care – and people will respond positively to you.  Dress one level up from what is expected and you will stand out from the crowd.

That’s my career advice on the importance of your appearance.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Joe Paterno passed away over the weekend.  You probably know this but he was the football coach at Penn State for the past 46 years.  He has more wins than any other coach in Division I college football.  He was known for running a very clean program with no recruiting violations or scandals.  Besides building a winning football program, Joe did a lot for Penn State, giving millions of dollars to the university to expand the library.

I’m a Penn State alum.  Joe was the head coach when I arrived there in the Fall of 1968.  I was always proud to be a Penn State alum.  I was especially proud of the football program and is reputation for fair play.

That all changed for me last Fall when one of Joe’s longtime assistant coaches was charged with several counts of child sex abuse.  You probably know the story.  In 2002, one of Joe’s assistant coaches, Mike McQueary observed Sandusky, who was retired but still had access to the Penn State football facilities, raping a young boy in a shower.  McQueary told Joe, who reported the incident to the Athletic Director.

Sandusky was never barred from the Penn State training facilities, and it is alleged that he continued to abuse young boys up until his arrest last Fall.  Many people, myself included, feel that Joe Paterno should have done more to follow up on what McQueary told him.  Make no mistake, he did what was required of him by law – he even testified at the Grand Jury investigating the allegations.  But doing what’s legal, isn’t necessarily doing what’s right.

Joe Paterno will forever be regarded as a great football coach, but one who gave tacit approval to child sex abuse.  And that’s the career success point of this post.   Your personal brand and reputation are important.  Guard them with all your might.

Last Friday, I was doing an interview for my membership site with Van Horsley, President of the Colorado operations of a large national bank.  I do these interviews to give my members inside advice on life and career success from successful people.  If you would like to see what the membership site is all about, go to http://www.MyCorporateClimb.com.  In our interview, Van concluded his remarks by saying, “Your integrity is an asset.  And once you spend that asset, it’s gone forever.”

As I listened to the coverage of Joe Paterno’s passing, I was reminded of Van’s remarks on integrity.  Joe Paterno spent his integrity when he didn’t follow up on the allegations about Jerry Sandusky.  By not doing so, and by continuing to let this man have access to the Penn State athletic facilities, Joe lost his integrity – which is too bad, because by all accounts he is a man of high integrity.

But that’s the way it goes.  It takes a long time to build a reputation as a person of integrity.  One foolish move can destroy all that.  All of the coverage on Joe’s passing said he “was a great football coach, BUT…”

Tweet 62 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Your personal brand should be unique to you, but built on integrity.  Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.”

According to Wikipedia, “Integrity is consistency of actions, values, methods, measures and principles.”  Integrity and consistency are intertwined.  People who are consistent in their actions are seen as people with a high degree of integrity.

Oprah says, “Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.”  This is true.  If you practice situational ethics – doing the right thing only when you’re in the public eye — you aren’t really a person of high integrity, you’re just pretending to be one.

Besides, it’s hard to act one way in public, and another in private.  So to be safe, resolve to act like Oprah.  Do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do – not because you’ll get credit, or avoid getting into trouble.

John Maxwell is a well-known business author.  One of his books sends the same message.  It’s called, There’s No Such Thing As Business Ethics: There’s Only One Rule for Making Decisions.  According to John, that rule is the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  In other words, do the right thing.

There’s a practical side to this too.  Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”  In other words, if you’re always a person of high integrity, it’s easy to be a person of high integrity; there are no complicating factors – like remembering what you did or said in a given situation.

Polonius gave similar advice to Hamlet.  “To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the day the night, thou canst be false to no man.”  Roy Blackman, my father in law, passed away a few years ago.  This quote was his epitaph.  It was on the program handed out at his funeral.  Roy embodied it in how he lived his life.  It was the only piece of advice he gave his grandson, Matt, as he went off to college.

Oprah, John Maxwell, Mark Twain and Shakespeare are all in agreement on one common sense piece of career advice.  If you want to become known as a person of high integrity – and I believe integrity is the cornerstone of any personal brand – act as a person of high integrity all the time – not just when it suits you, or when someone might notice.

Here’s a story to illustrate this point.  Cathy, my wife, was a flight attendant for 36 years.  Seniority is a very important thing in the airline industry.  It governs how you bid for trips, positions on the airplane and vacations – almost anything important to a flight attendant’s quality of work life.

Cathy was very active in her union.  And seniority was one of the union’s most sacred principles.  A few years before she retired, Cathy’s airline made a big push into the international market.  International flights were plum assignments; they went to people with high seniority.

However, the airline realized that it would be to their advantage to have some flight attendants who spoke the language of the country to which they were flying on these international flights.  Most flight attendants in her airline spoke English only.  The airline proposed putting two “language speakers” on each international flight.  Many people, including Cathy, were upset with this arrangement as they felt it violated the seniority concept.

Cathy used to fly from the US to London.  One day I said to her, “This whole language speaker issue doesn’t really affect you.  You fly to London; there are no language speakers on those flights.  Why do you care so much?”  She said, “I believe in the concept of seniority.  It doesn’t matter if I’m affected by language speakers.  It’s the principle of the thing.”  That’s consistency – and integrity — in action.

And that brings us back to Joe Paterno.  Here was a man with an incredibly strong personal brand.  He was known for doing the right thing in a business where too many people don’t do the right thing.  Sadly, his legacy is forever tarnished, because of what he didn’t do at a moment of truth.  I’m not writing this post to pass judgment on Joe – enough people have done that already.  I am writing it however, to reinforce my point of building your personal brand on integrity.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Creating positive personal impact is one of the competencies all successful people possess.  You create positive personal impact by developing and nurturing your unique personal brand, being impeccable in your presentation of self, and knowing and following the basic rules of etiquette.  Your personal brand should be uniquely you, but it should be built on integrity.  Follow the advice in Tweet 62 in Success Tweets.  “Your personal brand should be uniquely you, but built on integrity.  Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.”  As the sad ending to Joe Paterno’s career and life demonstrates, even a momentary lapse in your integrity can lead to serious consequences for a carefully crafted brand.

That’s the career advice I take from the sad ending of Joe Paterno’s life and career.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Fankl is one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read.  It details Mr. Frankl’s life in a Nazi concentration camp.

The other day, I read an article in the Denver Post about a Colorado State University professor who studies how people find meaning in their lives.  Michael Steger’s findings are similar to Viktor Frankl’s message.  He says…

“People who find some overarching meaning – some foundational purpose supporting the things they do and their beliefs — tend to better withstand the things life throws at them.”

Yerin Shim is a graduate student working with Dr. Steger.  She focuses on the intersection of meaning and work.  She argues that meaning in work isn’t just about happiness and money.  It’s about working for a specific purpose.

This interests me.  The first step in my life and career success model echoes the work being done at CSU – Clarify the purpose and direction for your life and career.  I devote several tweets in my career advice book Success Tweets to it.  Check it out…

• Tweet 1 – Define exactly what life and career success mean to you.  It’s easier to hit a clear, unambiguous target.
• Tweet 2 – The more you are clear about what success means to you personally, the easier it will be to create your life and career success.
• Tweet 3 – Think of your purpose as your personal mission; why you are on this earth.  Your direction is your vision for the next 3 to 5 years.
• Tweet 4 – The mightier your purpose, the more likely you are to succeed.
• Tweet 6 – Make sure that your person mission and vision are what you want – not what someone else wants for you.
• Tweet 8 – Don’t focus just on making money.  If you do, you’ll be asking too little of yourself.  Focus on how you can be useful in this world.
• Tweet 9 – Happiness doesn’t come from getting more things.  It comes from finding a worthy purpose and pursuing it.
• Tweet 17 – Clarify your personal values.  Your values are your anchor.  They ground you.  They center you.  They keep you focused on what’s important.

You can see why Dr. Steger and Ms. Shim’s work interests me.

I’m a big believer in finding your purpose in life, and as Success Tweets 8 and 9 suggest, it’s more important than just making a lot of money.  Here’s how I think of life purpose…

• Your reason for existing.
• Your passion.
• Why you are on this earth.

This isn’t always easy to discover.  Dr. Steger suggests that there are some people – he calls them seekers – “who find meaning only through an arduous, long and never ending quest.”

So if you’re young and still trying to figure out your purpose, don’t worry.  It can take time.  That’s why I always tell people to be open to new ideas and thoughts, as you never know what you might pick up.

If you’d told me when I was in high school that my life purpose would be to help others succeed, I would have laughed.  It took several courses in college and a year of service as a VISTA Volunteer for me to figure it out.  That’s when I began my career in the human resource development field.

Your purpose needs to come from deep inside you.  It is unlikely to change over the long run.  I’ve had lots of different jobs in lots of companies and have been self-employed for over 25 years.  Through all the changes, one thing has remained constant – my desire and passion for helping others succeed.  In my heart of hearts, I know that I am on this earth to help others navigate the ambiguities of life in order to reach their goals.

Here is my life purpose…

To help others achieve the career and life success that they want and deserve by applying their common sense.

It hasn’t changed since I was 25 years old.  This purpose reflects who I am and why I get up every morning.  It’s what’s right for me.

What’s right for you?  What is your passion?  What is your reason for living?  Why are you on this earth?  What is your life purpose?

Recent research shows that if you take the time to figure out the answers to these questions, you’ll be more likely to be happy in life and successful in your career.

Want more?  OK, how about some stories to illustrate my point.

When I graduated from college in 1972, I chose to do a year of service.  I became a VISTA Volunteer.  I worked for a grass roots community group in North Philadelphia.  I had a successful year.  I wrote a proposal that was funded by the US Department of Health, Education and Welfare.  We received a grant to do Sickle Cell Anemia awareness and screening in the community.  The grant provided some much-needed jobs in the community.  More important, we were able to identify local people who carried the Sickle Cell gene and make them aware of its consequences.

I enjoyed the experience tremendously; so much so that I took a job as a VISTA trainer, training new volunteers.  I was a full time employee, but we used several independent training consultants and coaches to help us with our work.  These folks worked out of their homes, traveling to the assignments.  I liked their lifestyle.  They were able to do work they loved helping people learn new skills – and they had the freedom and flexibility that came with being self-employed.  Of course, they had to generate enough income to fund their lifestyle, but that appealed to the entrepreneur in me.

By the time I was 25, I knew that I wanted to become an independent coach and consultant, helping other people create their life and career success.  I knew that I needed some additional education and experience to be able to do this successfully.  So I went back to school and received an MA and PhD.  I worked in the Training and Development Departments of three Fortune 500 companies, moving up the ladder, taking increasingly more responsible positions.  All this was in preparation for that day in March 1988 when I resigned my job and struck out on my own.

All these years later, I’m doing what I decided I wanted to do when I was 25 years-old.  I’m doing some things that I didn’t imagine way back then – blogging and writing books.  However, my life today is much as I imagined it in 1975.  My clarity of purpose was very instrumental in helping me become the career success – and career success coach – I am today.

On the other hand, I have a friend who is a serial entrepreneur.  He started a software business when he was 27.  He built it up and sold it to a major computer manufacturer by the time he was 35.  He has since started and sold four other companies.  His clarity of purpose lies in the challenge of creating something new, building it into a viable, sustainable business and then moving on.

I have another friend who recently retired as the Executive VP of Human Resources for a Fortune 50 company.  We were chatting a few days ago.  She told me that when she was in college, she decided that she was going to join a good company and work her way up the ladder.  She took an entry-level HR job with a company she liked.  It took her over 25 years, but she eventually became the most senior HR person in that company.  Her clarity of purpose and definition of success was different from mine and the serial entrepreneur’s, but she reached her goal.

My second friend told me that her son has yet a different definition of success.  He is not interested in climbing the corporate ladder, or in being an entrepreneur.  He wants an interesting job where he can contribute, but he doesn’t want to spend inordinate amounts of time at work.  He wants to spend as much time with his family as he can.  His definition of success is different from his mother’s.

I’ve just told you four stories about four different people.  All four of us are professional successes – according to our clarity of purpose.

As a career success coach, I often tell my clients that there is no one correct definition of career success.  There are as many definitions as there are people in this world.  Your definition of career success is what’s right for you – not anyone else.  I would not have been happy building and selling a number of businesses in succession, climbing a corporate ladder or working for a large company in an individual contributor position.  However, as you can tell from the stories of the three people above, they were.  They knew what they wanted and they went after it.

That’s why defining your clarity of purpose is so important.  Your clarity of purpose creates meaning for your life.  It provides both a foundation and launching pad for your career success.  The old saying, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t know when you get there,” is a cliché, but true.  Getting clear on your personal definition of career success is the first step to becoming a career success.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Your happiness in life and your career success begins with a clear idea of how you define success for you personally.  As research being done at Colorado State University indicates, a life and career filled with personal meaning, is likely to be a happier, more successful life and career.  If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you take some time and think about your clarity of purpose.  How do you define life and career success for yourself?  Keep that purpose and definition of career success in mind as you move forward in your life and career.

That’s my career advice based on the work of Sr. Michael Steger on the meaning of life.  What do you think?  Please share your thoughts with us in a comment.  If you decide to take the Meaning of Life Questionnaire, please share your results with us.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

The ability to create positive personal impact is an important key to your life and career success. If you want to create positive personal impact, you need to do three things: 1) Create and nurture your unique personal brand; 2) Dress for success; and 3) Know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.

Today I’d like to tell you the story of Peggy Williams, a woman with a very unique personal brand. Peggy retired after 10 years as President of Ithaca College. Ithaca is an elite liberal arts institution. Ithaca is expensive and hard to get into. You might expect that the Ithaca president would be conservative and a bit of a stuffed shirt.

Not Peggy. Here’s an excerpt from a story that appeared in the Ithaca Journal. It illustrates her brand.

“Ithaca College’s first female president was hiding in the lighting booth of Emerson Suites as a large male student aped around on stage making fun of her. The student wore a black, Peggy-esque wig and was imitating her penchant for yo-yoing in front of hundreds of students as the final act of a comedy show…Mustering her best presidential voice, she belted out into the microphone, “You’re not the real Peggy Williams. I’m Peggy Williams!” and then leapt on-stage and hurled a pie into the hapless student’s face…Her performance would become legendary. Prospective students at the event would cite her appearance as one of the reasons they chose to attend the college.”

Peggy has a unique brand for a college president – she is a former yo-yo champion who is goal oriented while being down to earth, fun loving and willing to make fun of herself. Students at Ithaca call her “P-Willie” or “The Pegster.”

I don’t know how you referred to your college president, but I’m willing to bet it wasn’t something like “The Pegster.” Eric Walker was the president of Penn State my first two years. John Oswald was the president my junior and senior year. We students referred to them as President Walker and President Oswald – and trust me, they were conservative stuffed shirts.

Peggy is well known for opening up the President’s Mansion to Ithaca students, attending Ithaca’s sporting events whenever she could, creating great relationships with alumni, and playing with her yo-yo in her office. She is also well known for raising $145 Million for capital improvements at the college – $30 Million more than the original goal; her work on sustainability at Ithaca; making Ithaca a more diverse place; and creating a service oriented culture among Ithaca students.

Peggy Williams’ brand is unique in higher education. It works because it is authentic.

I met Peggy in the fall of 1980. We were both graduate students at Harvard. There was this woman with wild, curly red hair in my Labor Relations class who always had great answers during case discussions, but who also was very funny. After a few classes, I introduced myself and we became great friends, sharing many meals at a Cambridge Chinese restaurant.

Peggy was funny and irreverent as a student. She was funny and irreverent as a college president. That’s authenticity!

Peggy’s brand was on display until the end. Guests at her retirement party received a silver plate engraved yo-yo. Peggy was kind enough to send me one, as I wasn’t able to attend.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense. Successful people create positive personal impact. People who create positive personal impact develop and nurture their unique personal brand. The best personal brands are authentic. Peggy Williams, retired president of Ithaca College, has a unique personal brand. She doesn’t take herself too seriously. And, believe me that is a truly unique personal brand in higher education. She is true to her brand. She is authentic. If you follow Peggy’s model, you too, will create positive personal impact and be on your way to a successful life and career.

That’s my career advice on authenticity in personal branding. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your brand with us. As always, I appreciate you and your comments. Thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

In a post last Friday, I mentioned that January is National Mentoring Month.  In that post, I discussed what you should look for in a mentor.  Today, I’d like to urge you to begin mentoring others.  Just as it’s important to find someone you respect to mentor you, it’s also important to mentor others.  You don’t have to be in a formal leadership position or have years and years of experience to mentor someone else.  It’s never too early to become a mentor.  We all have something to give, and the sooner you begin giving, the better.  If you’re in college, you can mentor high school students.  If you’re a recent graduate, you can mentor others still in school.

I take great joy in mentoring other people.  I love it when I can use my experience to help accelerate the growth of someone else.  It takes the sting out of some of the negative consequences I’ve experienced because of poor judgment.  I think to myself, “At least he or she won’t have to go through that.”

In his great book, Love is the Killer App, Tim Sanders tells the story of how he turned one of the people who worked for him from a “mad dog” into a “lovecat.”  The advice is simple: “Offer your wisdom freely… And always be human.”

Tim is right on.  Mentoring is a great way to become a lovecat by serving others.  The more you serve others, the more confidence – and success – will come your way.

Besides that, you’ll grow by mentoring.  As you reflect on your life experiences and distill them into some nuggets that you can share with others, your knowledge will become wisdom.  In addition to being better able to help others learn and grow, you will be better able to take advantage of what you know.  You never learn something so completely as when you teach it to another person.

Any mentoring relationship needs to focus on the person being mentored.  While mentoring someone will most often be a satisfying experience for you, remember that it is not about you – it’s about the other person.  Accept him or her for who he or she is.  Help him or her proceed at his or her own pace.  The best mentoring relationships are guided by the person being mentored.

Mentoring should be a positive experience for both of you.  That means that you need to avoid treating a person you are mentoring as incompetent or incapable.  Rather, think of him or her as someone lacking in experience and who needs guidance.  Don’t criticize.  Help the other person think through the consequences of his or her behavior and to identify more positive ways of handling difficult or troubling situations.

Hold the person you are mentoring responsible for his or her success.  Give him or her small assignments.  Don’t let him or her off the hook if he or she fails to complete them.  Be willing to give of yourself and your time, but make sure the other person is doing so, too.

Realize that the relationship will end.  If you’ve done a good job, the person you are mentoring will need to move on at some point.  It’s all part of the cycle.  It can be hard to let go, but feel good about seeing someone move on to bigger and better things – and another mentor.

I’ve shared an acronym to define what it takes to become a good mentor.  A good mentor…

M Motivates you to accomplish more than you think you can.

E Expects the best of you.

N Never gives up on you or lets you give up on yourself.

T Tells you the truth, even when it hurts.

O Occasionally kicks your butt.

R Really cares about you and your success.

Look for people with these qualities when you are searching for a mentor.  Embody them yourself when you are mentoring others.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Just as mentors can help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.  You can help others create their life and career success by becoming a mentor. It’s never too early to begin mentoring others.  There is always someone who needs your career advice; someone who needs to know what you’ve already learned.  Take some of your time to share what you know.  Be a positive person.  Help others achieve the life and career success they want and deserve.

That’s my career advice on furthering your career by mentoring others.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read my daily musings on life and career success.  Thanks.  Check in tomorrow to see what career success tid bits I’ll have for you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Tweet 100 in my career advice book Success Tweets says “Care about what you do.  If you care a little, you’ll be an OK performer.  If you care a lot, you’ll become an outstanding performer.”  Last week I met a young woman who embodies this career success advice.

Miriam Chisala works at the front desk of the Hampton Inn on West 31st Street in New York City.  I was a guest there.  One day, I had a minor crisis.  I lost the button on my trousers.  I went to the front desk and asked if I they could direct me to a local dry cleaner or tailor shop.  When Miriam asked why, I told her that I needed a button replaced on my trousers.  She said, “I can sew, bring them to me.”  I did, and she sewed the button.

I thought that was pretty good service.  I never would have expected that a hotel employee would go out of her way to help me with a sewing problem.  The next morning, it was pouring rain.  As I was leaving  the hotel, I asked to borrow an umbrella.  Miriam’s colleague told me that they had already lent all of the umbrellas they had.  She said, “You can use mine – as long as you bring it back.  I’ll need it to go home.”

Both of Miriam’s acts were small kindnesses, but ones that I really appreciated.  She went out of her way to help me.  This goes way beyond good customer service.  Miriam Chisala cares about what she does.  This makes her an outstanding performer – and puts her on the road to the life and career success she deserves.

I have a model of customer service that I use with my consulting clients. It begins from the premise that after any interaction your customers R.A.T.E. you. The people in your life R.A.T.E. you too.  You can use your R.A.T.E.ing to enhance your career success.  It works like this:

• R stands for Responsiveness.
• A stands for Assurance.
• T stands for Tangibles.
• E stands for Empathy.

If you notice, only one of the four points in the model – tangibles – is what you actually do for, or deliver to, the people in your life. The other three are the emotional measures by which people judge you. These emotional measures are at least as important as the tangibles you deliver.

You have to deliver the tangibles. You must produce results. That’s the cost of a ticket to the professional success sweepstakes.

However, you have to pay attention to the other three factors – responsiveness, assurance, and empathy – if you’re going to make a positive personal impact while you’re performing. Let’s look at each of these three in detail.

Responsiveness. You have to ensure that the people in your life see you as someone who is willing to help, someone who understands what needs to be done and is willing to do it. Other people need to think that you will give them what they want, when they want it, and in a manner that they can use it.

Assurance. You have to be able to convey trust and confidence. People need to feel that you are going to deliver. To do this, you must be very knowledgeable about the people in your life and their needs and wants. You need to be clear on what you can offer them to help them meet their goals. You need to ensure that they are confident that you will do what you say you will do.

Empathy. The people in your life must perceive you as an individual who understands, cares about, and pays attention to their needs. To do this, you need to be willing to walk a mile in other people’s shoes. You have to demonstrate to them that you are aware of and sensitive to their unique and individual needs.

Back to Miriam.  She definitely delivered the tangibles.  She sewed a button for me and she lent me her umbrella.  More important, she excelled on the three emotional factors – Responsiveness, Assurance and Empathy.

Miriam demonstrated her responsiveness by realizing that I had problems she could solve.  I needed a button and I needed an umbrella.  She could have directed me to the closest tailor and store where I could buy and umbrella.  Instead she offered to sew the button and lent me her umbrella.  That’s being responsive to a customer’s needs.

Miriam put my mind at ease about my button problem.  She said, “I can sew.  It will only take me a minute.  Just bring me the pants and the button.”  That was a huge relief for me.  I wanted to wear the trousers that evening.  Her offer meant that I didn’t have to worry about finding a tailor.  I felt assured that my problem was solved.

Finally, Miriam demonstrated her empathy in both cases.  First, she realized I was a stranger in her city with a button problem.  While a missing button is not a big deal, having to find someone to do the repair when you don’t know your away around the neighborhood is no fun.  Second, she knew that I could buy an umbrella on the street corner – vendors magically appear when it rains in New York.  But that was also a small headache for me, so she lent me hers.

All in all, I R.A.T.E.  Miriam – and the Hampton Inn on West 31st Street in Manhattan — very high.  Miriam is a young a woman who cared enough about her job and customers that she went out of her way to help me, not once but twice in a two day period.  In some ways this is not surprising as I found the entire property to be well run.

If you want to create the life and career success you deserve, be like Miriam.  Show that you care about what you do by doing the little things that set you apart from others.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.   If you want to create you career success, you have to be seen by others as a person who cares.  You need to be responsive to the needs and requests of others. You have to gain the trust of people with whom you come into contact.  And you need to demonstrate that you understand their needs and issues.  Miriam Chisala, by her actions, provides a great example of someone who is responsive, someone who is trustworthy, and someone with loads of empathy.  Be like Miriam and you’ll be on your way to the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s my career advice based on my experience with Miriam Chisala last week.  What do you think?  Plesae share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment.  Better yet, please share a story about someone you R.A.T.E. highly.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Today is Martin Luther King Day in the USA.  Dr. King is a personal hero of mine.  He awakened my interest in social issues.  I was just two weeks past my 13th birthday on August 28, 1963 when I heard his “I Have a Dream” speech.

His words were powerful.  Here is the end of that mesmerizing 17 minutes…

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.”

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

I bring up this speech to celebrate Dr. King’s legacy.  I also bring it up on this career success blog because there is some great career advice to be found in it.  Tweet 4 in my career success book Success Tweets says, “The mightier your purpose, the more likely you are to succeed.”

Dr King’s purpose was mighty; to bring about racial equality in the USA.  I think even he would have been surprised that less than 50 years after his famous speech, the citizens of the USA would elect a black man President.

Your clarity of purpose and direction provides the foundation for your life and career success.  You can build the successful life and career that you want and deserve on that foundation.  The more clear and the more mighty your purpose and direction, the stronger your foundation.

I’m a 60’s guy.  After all these years, my favorite recording artist is still Bob Dylan.  My favorite Dylan song – and maybe my favorite song ever — is “Forever Young.”  I used one of the lines from it to introduce my bestselling book, Straight Talk for Success – “May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung.”  Check out some of the other lyrics…

“May your hands always be busy.
May your feet always be swift.
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of change shift.”

By now you may be saying, “Get to the point, Bud.”  So I will.  You should begin your success journey by clarifying your purpose in life.  Why are you on this earth?  What are you meant to do?  I believe that the more mighty this purpose, the more you are likely to succeed.  A mighty purpose gives you that strong foundation “when the winds of change shift.”

Brad Swift of the Life On Purpose Institute (www.lifeonpurpose.com) makes a great point about clarity of purpose…

“Taking a bold stand for living on purpose starts by knowing your purpose with crystal clarity — knowing it so well that if someone woke you up at 3:00 in the morning and asked you what your life purpose is, you’d be able to tell them.  And if someone who knew you well heard what you said, they’d realize that your life was a true, authentic reflection of that purpose.”

There are two common sense points on which I want to focus here.  First, your clarity of purpose should be so big, so mighty, so important to you, that it is deeply ingrained in your psyche.  It has to be part of who you are.  Second, you have to live your clarity of purpose 24/7/365.  This takes commitment; commitment to determining your life’s purpose, and commitment to living it.

If you were to wake me at 3:00 in the morning, shine a light in my face and ask me for my life’s purpose, I’m sure I would say, “Helping people create successful lives and careers.”  It’s that much a part of me.  My elevator speech begins, “Hi, I’m Bud Bilanich, the Common Sense Guy; I help people create successful lives and careers by applying their common sense.”

For me, this is a mighty purpose.  I’m helping other people find career success — and fulfillment in their lives.  That’s important work in my book.  I take immense satisfaction out of seeing others learn, grow and succeed.  In another life I might have been a teacher or athletic coach.  In this life, I help people create the life and career success that they want and deserve.

There is an old saying that goes something like, “The problem is not in setting your goal too high and not reaching it.  The problem is setting your goal too low and achieving it.”  I can’t remember the exact quote or the attribution.  I’ll send a signed copy of Success Tweets to the first person who leaves a comment telling us the exact quote and the attribution.  Please respond by leaving a comment, not by sending me an email.  I want the answer to be visible to everyone who reads this blog.

What is your purpose?  Is it mighty?  I hope so.

The career success coach point simple common sense.  Just like Martin Luther King, whose legacy we celebrate today, successful people think big.  They ground themselves in a mighty purpose.  Tweet 4 in Success Tweets says, “The mightier your purpose, the more likely you are to succeed.  It will give you a strong foundation when the winds of change shift.”  Be like Dr. King.  Take this advice to heart.  Ground yourself with a mighty purpose.  It’s better to aim too high and fall a little short than it is to aim too low and reach your goal.  Dare to have a dream – and make it a big, powerful dream.  What is your dream for your life and career success?  Please share it with us in a comment.

That’s my career advice on this Martin Luther King Day.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I have a dream today – that everybody who reads this post will create the life and career success they want and deserve.  I have a dream!

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.